| I was over-the-hill, overweight, and overdue for | | | | and now she wouldn't be able to come to the |
| marriage, according to my mother who had taken it | | | | wedding that had been moved just for her. I won't |
| as a personal failure that her oldest daughter had not | | | | tell you the panic that set in as we quickly threw |
| found a mate despite her valiant efforts. And, bless | | | | together a wedding ceremony to be held in the lobby |
| her heart, she had tried everything. When I was | | | | of the hospital. |
| eighteen and had good child-bearing hips, she was | | | | I can't tell you how many nurses it took to do her |
| looking for a doctor. When I was twenty-five and | | | | hair and make-up. I will tell you how many rules were |
| dancing on bars with my friends, she was looking for | | | | broken as we turned her hospital room into the |
| anyone employed. When I was thirty and sporting a | | | | bride's dressing room. You can laugh at the image of |
| double-chin, all she cared was that he had a pulse. But | | | | me running down the halls of the hospital in my |
| despite my mother's tears and predictions that I was | | | | full-length white bridal gown and veil to get the shoes |
| destined for a life of screaming at my soaps in a | | | | I left in the car, while the photographer is snapping |
| cardigan and slippers surrounded by cats - I found | | | | pictures and trying not to trip over the gurneys. |
| my charming prince - and before he had the ring box | | | | I don't remember what it felt like not to have any |
| open, my mother had ordered invitations, tested | | | | bridesmaids, or what it felt like to have soft music |
| three cakes, and hired the band. | | | | replaced with intercoms paging doctors. I don't |
| We wanted a small backyard wedding with a couple | | | | remember it feeling like a conference room. I |
| of friends. My mother translated that into, "big band, | | | | remember looking out and seeing his mother holding |
| open bar, forty-six showers, and an ice sculpture of | | | | his father's hand. I remember seeing the nurses that |
| kissing dolphins." There was a wedding to be planned, | | | | I had never met, crying in the back row. It was the |
| by golly, and I was lucky to be consulted. | | | | happiest moment of my life. My smile could be seen |
| Six weeks and twenty-four arguments later, the | | | | from a mile away. It was still my day. My family was |
| wedding was canceled. Surprisingly, not my mother's | | | | there - his family was there - some families I didn't |
| fault. My charming prince's mother had a serious | | | | recognize were there - and I'm convinced that even |
| health issue and went from spring-in-her-step, to | | | | though there was no stained glass, God was there |
| we're-not-sure-how-much-time-she's-got, in a matter | | | | too. My charming prince's mother is gone and his |
| of days. It's hard to plan a wedding when your | | | | father left this earth shortly after. I will never regret |
| husband is losing his mother and his father is losing his | | | | our decision. |
| best friend. We wanted to get married, we didn't | | | | I tell you this story, not to encourage you to cancel |
| want to wait, and we wanted his parents there. | | | | your dreams, but to give you some advice as you |
| There seemed to be only one option - take the | | | | launch into one of the greatest days of your life - or |
| wedding to her. Period. End of discussion. | | | | into any dream for that matter. Know that there will |
| I won't bore you with the details - the refunds lost, | | | | be things that go wrong that are beyond your |
| the wedding invitations turned into scrap paper - the | | | | control. Accept that, and go into it from the beginning |
| comments I received from sixteen bridesmaids who | | | | knowing what's really important. Lower your |
| were aghast that we would live in such a world | | | | expectations. I'm not saying to change your plans, |
| where a bride would have to make such a sacrifice | | | | just your reaction when things don't go the way you |
| on the biggest event of her life. Her special day. I | | | | planned. Remember who you're trying to please so |
| won't tell you what kind of stress comes with trying | | | | that you won't look back in regret that you planned |
| to plan a last-minute wedding three states away. I | | | | this dream for someone else. And keep your sense |
| won't tell you how hard it is just to find a church, a | | | | of humor. You will be stressed, no matter what |
| preacher, and a restaurant with tables within walking | | | | happens. Your sense of humor will keep you sane. |
| distance of the hospital. I won't tell you what it was | | | | And remember that life doesn't always promise |
| like to find out three days before the event that his | | | | happily-ever-afters. Or maybe it does, and you just |
| mother was worse and couldn't leave the hospital | | | | have to know where to look. |